Gratitude with Attitude
I Would Cut a Bitch for You**
It’s Thanksgiving weekend 2024, so, of course, I’m thinking about gratitude. Specifically gratitude as platitude, or the idea that gratefulness could (and should according to my more MAGA-leaning friends) wash over us left-leaning folks like an opioid bath, replacing any feelings of concern about the oncoming train of awfulness outlined in Project 2025 with puppies and rainbows.
I am in NO WAY suggesting that we abandon gratitude in an attempt to steel ourselves for resistance, I am simply suggesting that gratitude cannot (and should not) be used as a gateway to capitulation or a convenient offramp away from our core values and moral compasses.
I propose that instead of (or in addition to)* the platitude gratitude, let’s make a list of gratitude with a little bit of attitude.
I am grateful to live in a country where we still have the First Amendment, and in my network, more people than not have the courage to use all parts of this amendment so we don’t lose any part of this amendment.
I am grateful to know myself well enough to know what I’m willing to stand for and what I’m willing to fight for.
I am grateful that I am now in my fifties. Somewhat related to #2, I know myself well enough to know what doesn’t deserve my time, attention, or energy. Let’s just say the gift of age is the wisdom, and specifically the wisdom to know when to give zero f#@ks. BONUS: it’s an endless gift to channel Sally O’Malley whenever I get the chance.
I am grateful that I continue to age and can’t wait to see sixty, seventy, and beyond. I look forward to that process giving me even MORE perspective on where/when/why to give more f#@ks about the people, ideas, and things that matter, and where/when/why to give even fewer f#@ks about the things that don’t.
I am grateful to be connected to collaborative communities, where I can lean into my various forms of privilege to protect my friends and neighbors while also leaning on others when they have the privilege(s) I lack.
I am grateful that I’m an existentialist at heart, and that free will does exist.
I am grateful for those with whom I disagree, as it challenges my worldview and empowers me to grow and change.
I am grateful for those with whom I find morally reprehensible, as it clarifies my own moral center, gives me opportunities to practice courage, and challenges me to acknowledge my own conscious and unconscious vulnerabilities towards human corruption and fallibility.
I am grateful to be surrounded by honorable people, with integrity, and keen barometers for fairness and justice who inspire and support me in fortifying those vulnerabilities and helping me course-correct when I do fail.
I am grateful that we still live in a democracy, even if only for this moment. And I am grateful that there is still plenty we can all do in this moment to fight for the country I think we are capable of being.
*NOTE: Attitude aside, I’m not above platitude gratitude. After all, I am a squishy marshmallow, a hopeless romantic, and a hopeful idealist through and through.
I mean, I AM endlessly grateful for the adorableness of the neighborhood cats that hang out on my lanai—and don’t get me started on how awesome it is to live near the beach. I’m beyond grateful for my incredible friends and for the extraordinary humans I encounter daily. And I can’t even express how miraculous it is to have a family who in this moment in history, are closer because of the moment rather than torn apart because of it.
** ”OK, if you’re a SQUISHY MARSHMALLOW, what is up with that subtitle?”
I may be a squishy marshmallow, but I would (and will) stand up for you, fight for you; hide you from the Nazis; help or take you with me if/when we ever need to Von Trapp ourselves over the Alps.
I would even sing Climb Every Mountain with you while we did it.
My friend of more than thirty years, Naomi Gerheim, and I have a running joke in which we randomly tell each other, “I would cut a bitch for you.” To be fair, we have many many MANY running jokes, but this one in particular (which makes us laugh more than it probably should) IS a shorthand for the fierce loyalty we have towards protecting each other and our communities.
So just know that in addition to singing songs from the Sound of Music whilst escaping the Nazis, I would, not only cut a bitch for Naomi, I would cut a bitch for you too.